Friday, March 28, 2008

Now Accepting Applications to the BPP Club

As I'm about to write about Finn's newest passion, I'm concerned. Not about sharing this with you. No. Because you know by now that I'll share just about anything. Want to hear about my boobs? Done. Want the inside scoop on my colonoscopy or other invasive tests? I am your source. Want to hear about the consistency of baby feces? Oh, well, you should really speak up, then.

No, what concerns me are the Google ads that are about to pop up over there when I tell you about Finn's new club:

The Boobie Butt Penis Pee Pee Poopie Club (also known as the Poopie Boobie Penis Club and dba The Funny Words Club)

The club only has three members right now: Finn, its founder; me (I am the inaugural member, score!), and Bear, who was invited yesterday, after much contemplative consideration. (Finn really had to think that through. Do I expand the club so soon? Will that aggressive growth somehow dilute my mission, whatever that mission may be? Will Papi "get it"? Will he be able to truly share in the club's values and vision?)

I suppose the club was born out of Finn's need to somehow formalize his--what's the word? overbearing? relentless?--love of the aforementioned words, words that he deftly, but most of the time just plain awkwardly, places in any sentence, with complete disregard to the original part of speech.

These words appear as adjectives: "Mama, shouldn't we take the boobie turn now?" "Mama, do we need more poopie bread?"

(In case you're wondering, no. We don't need any more poopie bread, thank you. Well-stocked.)

These words appear as nouns: "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Butt." "Butt who?" "Butt penis . . . boob."

These words appear as verbs. Oh, you know they do: "Mama, I butted you." (That really needs a video accompaniment, although if you hang with us long enough, say for more than three minutes, you will see it.)

What they haven't done yet is function as an adverb, but I am truly (sincerely, without irony) looking forward to the day when Finn tells me, "Mama, I love you buttly."

Right butt at you, kid.


Suzie said...

Perhaps he will be a writer someday and will form all of these new words into a new movement (not of the bowle varity) you never know.

TroubleX2 said...

Now that's funny stuff! U got the same ad I did when I put a BAD word in my blog. Nothing like a service ad to make a mom feel like crap. ha ha!

spamchang said...

oh my. that can get awkward, i'm guessing. wasn't til high school until i scrubbed my vocab squeaky clean...the later you learn that lesson, the harder it is :p