Friday, June 20, 2008

Because You, Internet, Are Nothing If Not Thorough.

Okay. So I may have caused a mini panic in my two readers by my last couple of enigmatic posts. Some have you have trolled my archives and wonder if the Event of Which I Must Not Speak is somehow related to things that start with the letter C.

I just want to let you know that my reticence to share things has nothing to do with my health--which, as far as I know, is good and golden for two years and three months running. And thank you for being concerned. That was warm and fuzzy and really, really generous.

(Of course, I have a doctor's appointment next month and just by saying the above that probably means I'm due for some kind of biopsy followed by a period of wallowing and abjection. But that's Next Month. And that's more than a week away.)

No, my limited readership, I am in good health and my unwillingness to share things personal with you (what? yes. I know. NOW I hold back) has nothing to do with health or scariness and everything to do with my firm belief that if you say it OUT LOUD you will GET SCREWED.

Engrave that on a candy heart.

No, good things are lined up for us, reader 1 and reader 2. And we're very excited. And even with that, I've probably said too much. Because the shit will hit the proverbial fan and I will melt into an extreme and sticky depression and I should just be quiet now and let things take their due course. That is, the one I want them to take.

(Oh my, I am so very annoying. All this superfluous mystery. And yet, alas.)

And reader 1, don't you dare allude to what it is I'm talking about in your comments because you know exactly what I'm talking about and now is NOT THE TIME to be flaunting your insider knowledge. So keep your frakking mouth shut.

If you would.


So kindly.

Thanks. The Mngmnt.


KeKe said...

Am I reader one? If so, I'm offended that you think I would jinx you.


And if I'm not reader one, who pray tell is? I know people. I'll take reader one out. ;)

Piper said...

And I thought I was reader one -- watch out KeKe -- I know you and I share a lot (the same) about our dear friend. A pact -- I won't take you out, you don't take me out. Hee hee.

spamchang said...

i guess i'm reader #2.005, whose addition still results in your total readership being rounded down to 2 since i presume most readership numbers must be in integer form :P

good luck with the Yet-Unclarified-Happening!